In a multi-pet household, one pet has to go through the unfortunate experience of coping with the loss of another. If you have recently lost a pet, you are probably wondering if your other pet grasps this. And the short answer is yes, your pet is mourning the loss of her companion.

Pets don’t understand death the way humans do, but they mourn the loss of other pets. The more social a pet is, the more he will miss his partner when she is gone. Moreover, he will also pick up on your sadness and mourn with you.

In some ways, pets go through more pain than humans when another pet dies. Humans understand enough not to expect the deceased pet to return. On the other hand, pets know that they have lost their companion but they also hope to see them again.

Read below to understand how your pets view death and deal with the loss of other pets in the family.

Loss And Routine: How Most Pets Perceive Death

When you leave for work for the very first time, your pet might not understand that you will come back. But as you continue going to work and coming back, he begins to expect your return. The expectation of returning needs to be trained. This is more obvious if you adopt an adult dog.

By default, departure is taken as a permanent loss. If your pets spend a lot of time apart every day, then understanding death might be hard for either of them.

But if they are together all the time, then the death of one is noticed by the other immediately. Unless the deceased pet used to leave and return regularly, the surviving pet will see the loss with an air of permanence.

How Long Do Pets Grieve?

Depending on how social your pet is, he will grieve for up to 10 months. However, most pets stop grieving at roughly 8 weeks. Factors that affect this include the owner’s emotional state as well.

This is especially the case for dogs who get sad not just because they miss their deceased companion but also because of their owner’s grief.

The table below covers the average time different types of pets take to move on after the death of another pet in the house.

In the above table, I’m taking liberty with the word “grief.” Animal grief is not the same as human grief. It is a close approximation, though. If we take all negative emotions associated with loss, then yes, pretty much every type of pet grieves the loss of another.

It is also worth noting that most pets grieve the deaths of other pets belonging to the same species. Social species like dogs and socially nurtured cats can bond with pets from other species.

What Can Pet Owners Do To Help?

If your pet is showing signs of distress after the death of another pet, you can help them by:

• Spending more time with them – Pets can miss their deceased friends when they are lonely. You can reduce their loneliness by spending more time with them.
   
• Being happy for/with them – Pets like dogs and cats can pick up on their owners’ emotional state. So, think happy thoughts when you are around your pet. But remember to give yourself the room to grieve as well.
   
• Filling their social gaps – Some pets, like fish and birds, need immediate social replacement. Others, like dogs, can make do with doggy dates. Make sure to look up the social needs of your pet because some pets, like rabbits, can die of loneliness.
   
• Giving them time – Humans grieve their pets longer than most pets grieve other pets. Your pet will most likely be okay within a few days. Sometimes, a pet can take 4 to 8 weeks to get used to the absence of their companion. Give your pet the time he needs.
   
• Finding them a companion – Human grief isn’t fixed with replacement. But pet grief can be relieved by introducing a new pet.

When Is It Time For A New Pet?

Pets like guinea pigs, fish, and birds need immediate replacement when one of a pair dies because of how negatively loneliness affects the surviving ones.

Ultimately, all pets that get along with other pets need a new companion. But you might feel icky about replacing a recently deceased pet. After all, it was a family member.

It helps if you don’t see it as a replacement. You are simply bringing a new friend for your existing pet. And you will know when the time is right for that because you will feel ready for a new pet.

Unless your pet needs immediate company, feel free to take your time to cope with your loss. Don’t rush to get a new pet and don’t force yourself to move on.

You can recharge your social pet’s battery by arranging playtime dates for them. This works for dogs and super social cats.

How Do I Know If My Pet Is Grieving?

Finally, you need to be able to tell when your pet has moved on. For that, you need to understand the signs of grief and watch out for when they disappear.

Dogs generally slouch and disengage with their surroundings while fish usually stop moving around too much. Cats get quiet and birds can even shed tears.

Different pets have different ways of grieving. And ironically, the difference is what they all have in common.

When your pet is dealing with the loss of its partner or friend, he will act differently. But don’t worry. This is often temporary, and your surviving pet will return to normal.

Final Thoughts

Pets usually know when another pet goes missing. They show symptoms of grief and loneliness. So, even if animals do not grasp the concept of death like we do, they have the capacity to understand when they have lost a partner or a friend.

That said, animals do seem to move on quicker than humans, except in the case of species that mate for life. If your dog or cat is acting differently after you have lost another pet, offer them your company and compassion. Both of you will get through this.

When a pet dies at home, you have three main duties: deal with the body, involve those who need to be involved, and handle your grief. Almost everything you do will fall into one of these categories.

This article breaks down the exact steps you need to follow to respectfully handle your pet’s body, involve other pets and family members, and deal with your grief.

What To Do When A Pet Dies At Home

The most important things you’ll need to do are:

• Confirm whether your pet has really passed away
• Move their body to a cooler place
• Contact your vet for further assistance.

Vet involvement can go from confirming that your pet is deceased and handling their cremation to literally guiding you step by step from the moment you suspect that your pet has died.

You get to decide how much vet support is necessary.

Check Your Pet’s Status

People often involve their vets because they need to confirm whether their pet is actually deceased. And vets also offer super cheap cremation, but that’s for later. If you are sure that your pet has passed, then you do not need the vet at this stage.

If your pet is a mammal, like a dog or a cat, you can use your hand to check for breath and pulse. Also, remember that you can look for specific signs of death for pretty much any category of pets. 

Since cats and dogs make up a majority of the world’s pet population, I’ll go over the signs of death in these two species.

• Pay attention to the animal’s belly. Is it moving? If the cat or dog has passed, her belly will not move due to a lack of breathing.
• Hold a mirror up to your pet’s nose. Does it fog up? If it doesn’t fog up, then your fur baby isn’t breathing and is likely deceased.
• Check if your pet’s eyes are open or closed. When a cat or dog dies, her eyes open, and her pupils soften. If you have a glove, put it on and try to touch her open eye. If there is no movement, your cat has passed away.

Handling The Body

At this stage, you can get a family member involved, especially if you have a large pet. You need to move your pet’s body to a place with lower sunlight exposure. Any place in the house that’s cooler.

Place a plastic sheet (or anything water-resistant) under your pet’s head and back. Basically, the orifices need to be over something that can handle fluids.

Those are the material specifics of handling the body. There are also emotional specifics. If you have other pets, let them sniff the body. This will help them understand and grieve. Read my post on whether a pet knows if another pet dies for more information.

Let other family members know as well, except for kids too young to cope with the information. In fact, you need to make sure that little kids do not witness the body. And if they do, make sure they leave before they can come to a dark conclusion.

Once the body is in a cool place and everyone who should know and see has done so, it is time to think about burial or cremation. 

A pet’s death is tricky. Because you lose a family member that, to the rest of the world, is just an animal. That’s why some people don’t know what to say to you when your fur baby has passed.

In some places, you can’t bury animals yourself. In others, you can bury them in your backyard. Then, there are cities where there are dedicated pet cemeteries.

Understanding your local regulations around pet burial can be helpful. But common options are as follows.

• Burial: Pet Cemetery Or Backyard
• Cremation: Mass cremation or individual cremation.

To make this decision, consider the pros and cons of each option.

The next stage depends on the option you have chosen. Follow the steps that are valid for your situation.

Steps For Pet Burial

• Decide between a pet cemetery or your own property – If you choose the latter, make sure to check your local regulations to see if it’s okay to bury pets in your backyard.
• Hire a contractor or get a family member to help – You’ll need at least one pair of hands besides your own if you’re burying a large pet.
• Dig a grave 3 to 4 times as deep as your pet’s height – This really depends on your pet’s size. Generally, deeper graves are better.
• Place your pet inside – Make sure everyone who needs to be there is there to witness this.
• Fill the grave – This is the final step.

Steps For Pet Cremation 

• Choose between mass cremation or individual cremation – Mass Cremation is the most common option, while individual cremation is the one that lets you hold onto your pet’s ashes.
• For mass cremation, take the body to your local vet – Vets charge $30 to $75 for mass cremation. 
• For individual cremation, look up pet cremation services – You are more likely to find one in a city closest to you.
• If you want to keep the ashes, take a container with you – Crematoriums may try to upsell you on an urn. You can save $50 to $100 by taking a portable container with you.
• Place the ashes in an urn – later, when you have time, you can order an urn online.

Why not consider a unique and beautiful way to keep their memory alive with a personalized 3D Crystal Urn or 3D Photo Candle from Teddy & Finn? Like a window to heaven, the elegant keepsake urn comes with 2 tea light candles and cylindrical self-adhesive cover tops, offering a serene way to honor your beloved pet.

To use as an urn, simply remove the tea light candles, place the ashes in the pre-drilled holes on top, and cover with the provided seals, preserving your fur babies memory with dignity and grace.

You can order your custom crystal urn or candle online, and let their memory shine in a truly special way.

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Life Without Your Pet

While burying/cremating your pet is the final step, your journey continues. So make sure to seek support, organize and honor your pet’s memories, and give yourself time to grieve.

When you are ready, you will embrace life with enthusiasm. But don’t force yourself to move on quicker than is natural for you as losing a pet is painful.

Final Thoughts

If you suspect that your pet has passed away, check their pulse and look for signs of breathing. Once you’re sure that they’re deceased, move their body to a cool place and call your vet.

Also, let other family members know. If you have another pet, let them sniff the body so they, too, can begin to process the situation. Finally, take your pet to the vet for cremation or to a pet cemetery for burial.

Losing a pet isn’t easy, especially when people around you can’t understand what you are going through. They cannot imagine how much you loved your little companion and how much love she had for you. That’s the shoes your friend is in if she has lost her pet recently.

Knowing that will help you say the right thing. And the right thing can be distilled down to two ingredients: condolences and company. What you say must check both of these boxes. You have to offer your condolences and help the pet owner feel less alone.

What To Say To Someone Who Has Lost Their Pet

Here are a few things you can say to someone who has lost their pet, though I recommend you use these as inspiration instead of a tight script.

• I know how much you loved [pet’s name] and how much [pronoun] loved you back. I am heartbroken for you, and I’m here whenever you need me.
• I’m so sorry to hear about [pet’s name]. Losing a family member is never easy, so let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you.
• I’m deeply saddened to hear [pet’s name]. I know [pronoun] was precious to you. And you are precious to me. Call or text me whenever you need me.
• I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Just know that I am here for you.
• You are in my thoughts, and [pet’s name] is in my prayers. I am sorry for your loss.
• What you had with [pet’s name] was special, and I can imagine how difficult this must be for you. Please reach out whenever you need me.
• Your love for [pet’s name was special, and I’m sure [pronoun] knew that. Please know that I’m here for you.

As you can see, these are not snappy lines that would sit squarely in a generic sympathy card. That’s because the more polished your words are, the less sincere they sound. Of course, you shouldn’t take that as permission to riff without preparation. 

The rest of this article will help you figure out how to come up with something original to say to someone who has lost their pet. The risks of improvising from your heart.

We speak quicker than we think. So, while it might sound like “speaking from the heart” is the best route to take when talking to someone who has lost a pet, it isn’t the best idea.

We don’t speak from the heart. We speak from the tongue while the heart stumbles forward, trying to catch up with it.

That’s how you end up saying, “Will you get a new one?” when we mean, “Will you be okay?” That’s how we end up saying, “You will get over it,” when we mean, “You are a fighter. I believe in you.”

Writing down what you are going to say allows you to think it through. And while you’re thinking things through, you have to avoid cliches.

Avoid Cliches

Cliches like “thoughts and prayers,” “I’m sorry for your loss,” and “I’m here for you” are, unfortunately, the best things to say but are rendered meaningless because of how often they are repeated. But don’t throw the baby with the bathwater. 

Edit those statements with some thought, and you’ll communicate the sentiment without looking like you’re parroting it off chatGPT. Look at the following statement, which I also mentioned earlier:

“You are in my thoughts, and [pet’s name] is in my prayers. I am sorry for your loss.”

It includes “thoughts” and “prayers,” but it is not a cliche as it has been edited thoughtfully. Remember to channel your thoughts toward the right thing while you edit a pre-written message.

Give a Heartfelt Gift if Words are Too Difficult

Sometimes, finding the right words for someone grieving a pet can feel overwhelming. When words fall short, a heartfelt gift can communicate your compassion and understanding more powerfully than spoken sentiments.

Gifting a personalized 3D crystal from Teddy & Finn can be a meaningful way to honor their beloved pet and offer comfort.

Our 3D crystals capture a cherished photo of the pet in stunning, lifelike detail. Each crystal is meticulously crafted to preserve the unique essence of their furry friend, making it a beautiful keepsake they can hold onto forever.

This crystal isn’t just a gift; it’s a lasting tribute that celebrates the special bond they shared. For someone in mourning, a 3D crystal can help provide a sense of closeness to their pet even after they’ve gone. You can check out our pet selection below.

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Step Into Their Shoes

Don’t think more about the words than you do about the person who will hear them. This isn’t a competition to say the most poetic or profound thing.

You just need to empathize with your friend who has lost their pet. Hearing the best selection of words won’t relieve them. But knowing that someone understands them will.

Don’t Try To Solve Their Pain

And while you are at it, put no thought into “fixing” their situation. Humans are natural problem solvers, which is a good thing in most cases, but it also motivates us to give unsolicited advice. Advice that people do not appreciate when they have recently lost a pet.

What they need is your empathy and understanding. Do not focus on solutions because grief isn’t something to be solved. Another thing to remember is that grief isn’t a flash in the pan. Check out this post for more insight: Exploring Why Losing a Pet is so Painful.

It’s Not A One-And-Done Task

Offering your condolences isn’t a one-click checkbox. Depending on how close you are to the person, you need to check on them multiple times.

Initially, just talking to them every two to three days can help them feel less alone. You do not need to bring up their loss every time. Eventually, you can start checking up on them once a week or once every other week.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

And by actions, I mean a care package. Make them a care package stuffed with things you know they’ll like. But if you get a premade package, make sure to send it with a handwritten note.

Make Them Feel Heard

Physical gifts have their place, but no gift replaces the human need to be heard. We focus so much on what we have to say when what’s more important is what people say to us. So, no matter what you say, make sure to stop after you have said it and let them speak.

Ask them to talk. Let them know that they have your open ear. Help them ease their mental burden by letting them grieve. Many people feel like they have to move on or not bring down the mood. If you notice that, let them know they can grieve for as long as they need.

Read (The Room) Before You Write

Not everyone copes with loss the same way. So, while this guide can help you figure out what to say, your observation and understanding will need to do some heavy lifting.

Really try to put yourself in their shoes. What would they want you to say? Bonus question: what would you want someone to say to you in that position?

Know How To Recover

Finally, you need to know how to recover from a bad statement. If you blurt out something you want to take back, you should not stumble for words. So, memorize the following.

“Pardon my words. I’m just trying to let you know that I know you’re in pain and that I am here for you.”

Ultimately, that’s all people want to know when they have just lost a pet.

Final Thoughts

If someone has lost a pet, the last thing they want to hear is a solution, suggestion, or cliche.

Say something like, “You are in my thoughts, and [pet’s name] is in my prayers,” or “I’m so sorry that you are going through this,” to help them see that they are not alone and that you can understand their pain.

Related Reading

• How to Memorialize Your Pet
• Do Other Pets Know When a Pet Dies?
• Steps to Take When a Pet Passes Away at Home
• Memorial Photo Gifts to Honor Loved Ones

If you have recently lost a pet, you might be surprised by the depth of your grief. But the pain we feel upon losing our pets is natural. And this article will help you understand why.

The pain of losing one’s pet can be explained by the simple fact that the human brain does not separate pets from companions. Losing a pet is losing a companion.

There are other reasons that explain the different aspects of the pain that people experience after losing their pets. But ultimately, it comes down to the fact that our brains do not have a separate box for pets. 

The animals who keep us company end up becoming closer to us than many humans we know. That’s why it is important to deal with this loss properly. I have covered a few dos and don’ts that will hopefully help you take care of yourself as you deal with the loss of your pet.

Why Is Losing A Pet So Painful?

But first, let’s go over a few reasons why losing a pet can be more painful than losing a human. It has a lot to do with what makes pets special.

Animals’ Love Is Not Consciously Conditional

Animals love us unconditionally. This is especially true for dogs and cats who love us not because of a calculated angle but because of the bond they develop with us. Sure, we feed our pets, but they don’t have the cognitive capabilities to fake affection to get fed.

Humans can deceive us or have their own angles, which is why even marriages can feel conditional. However, the relationship you have with your pet is unique because it doesn’t come with terms and conditions of endearment.

Humans Have The Ability To Empathize With Other Species

So, the previous reason has more to do with how pets love us. But love is like NYC’s Fifth Avenue: a two-way street. And the way you love your pet is also special.

Humans have the ability to empathize with animals. So when you hang out with one long enough, you begin to feel their emotions. You can understand them more with time.

Then comes a time when, like most pet owners, you go from finding them cute to loving them more than you ever thought you were capable of loving anyone.

When you love your dog, you don’t love ‘a dog.’ You love that specific dog. The dog he has become because of their experiences, quirks, and everything else that makes them unique.

The Pain Can Take Us By Surprise

Because we assume that the loss of a pet is unlike the loss of a human companion, we are taken by surprise when we experience the former. In other words, we are not prepared for the pain we experience.

So, it makes sense to overthink and question the depth of our own grief. But, don’t worry, it is 100% natural for the loss of your pet to sting as much as it does. This is partly explained by the next reason.

Everything Reminds You Of Them

Pet owners feed their pets, take them on walks, and have other rituals like watching TV together. These rituals get upended when a pet dies. Suddenly there are empty spaces in your routine and they remind you of your pet.

Whenever it is feeding time, you remember them. When you go on a solo walk, you remember them. When you’re watching TV, and you extend your arm to pat them, you find empty space, and you remember them.

People can lose their best friends and not have that many reminders of their loss. Yet when they lose a pet, they keep facing multiple reminders almost immediately. Denial is the first stage of grief, and a pet’s loss leaves no room for it.

They Don’t Get To Say Goodbye Back

Another thing that makes the loss of a pet especially painful is the fact that animals don’t understand death the same way we do. They can’t grasp their own mortality, so they don’t get to say goodbye to us. 

If they understood death, they wouldn’t need words to say goodbye. But because they don’t get it, they treat their final day as just another day with you. In a way, that’s beautiful, but it can also leave us yearning for closure.

Others Do Not Understand The Depth Of Your Loss, Which Makes It Truly Unique

People who have never lost a pet–including some pet owners–don’t understand your pain. Psychologists agree that sharing our pain can lessen it. But since most people don’t understand your pain, you don’t feel comfortable sharing it. 

Even when people offer their condolences, you know that they cannot possibly understand how you feel. This creates a pocket of loneliness that intensifies your pain.

What Not To Do After Losing A Pet

If you have recently lost a pet, please do not expect yourself to move on quickly. Do not take on the pressure of others’ expectations. People who have never lost a pet don’t know how much pain you are in. They might expect you to move on within weeks. 

You don’t have to cater to their expectations. Give yourself the time you need to deal with the loss of your companion.

Also, avoid sharing your grief with people who don’t own pets. They might downplay your grief, which will only add to it. 

People who own pets but have not lost any can still imagine what you are going through. But people who have never had a pet can be completely clueless unless they are major empaths.

Finally, do not throw away your pet’s stuff in a reactionary fit. Some pet owners feel that urge, but they regret being rash and discarding reminders of their freshly departed companion. Hug your pet’s blanket. Hold her bowl. Again, you don’t have to force yourself to move on.

What To Do After Losing A Pet

Aside from relieving yourself of the pressure to move on, the best thing you can do to cope with the loss of your pet is to seek social support.

Join a support group and share your experience with people who have gone through a similar loss. And give yourself time. I know that the pain can be intense, but you have to let time heal wounds that only time can heal.

You can also invest in a pet memorial. We have a wide range of 3D Pet Crystals to preserve the memory of your cherished pet forever. Our 3D photo crystals are designed to immortalize your pet in stunning detail, creating a lasting keepsake.

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Final Thoughts

Losing a pet can be so painful because a pet is a companion and a family member. A pet is a loved one who doesn’t get to say goodbye because he doesn’t understand death. A pet is someone who leaves behind reminders in your routine. You remember him whenever it is feeding time and there is no one to feed. 

You remember him as you brace for him to jump on you, but there is no one to brace for. You remember him decades later when the routines have faded, and there are no reminders left.

Because love doesn’t need reminders. And you love your pet, even if they are not here anymore. At least they got to experience it while they were.

Related Reading

• How to Memorialize Your Pet
• The Heartache of Pet Loss: Why Does It Hurt So Much?
• Steps to Take When a Pet Passes Away at Home