What To Say When Someone Loses a Pet: Finding The Right Words

Losing a pet isn’t easy, especially when people around you can’t understand what you are going through. They cannot imagine how much you loved your little companion and how much love she had for you. That’s the shoes your friend is in if she has lost her pet recently.

Knowing that will help you say the right thing. And the right thing can be distilled down to two ingredients: condolences and company. What you say must check both of these boxes. You have to offer your condolences and help the pet owner feel less alone.

What To Say To Someone Who Has Lost Their Pet

Here are a few things you can say to someone who has lost their pet, though I recommend you use these as inspiration instead of a tight script.

• I know how much you loved [pet’s name] and how much [pronoun] loved you back. I am heartbroken for you, and I’m here whenever you need me.
• I’m so sorry to hear about [pet’s name]. Losing a family member is never easy, so let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you.
• I’m deeply saddened to hear [pet’s name]. I know [pronoun] was precious to you. And you are precious to me. Call or text me whenever you need me.
• I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Just know that I am here for you.
• You are in my thoughts, and [pet’s name] is in my prayers. I am sorry for your loss.
• What you had with [pet’s name] was special, and I can imagine how difficult this must be for you. Please reach out whenever you need me.
• Your love for [pet’s name was special, and I’m sure [pronoun] knew that. Please know that I’m here for you.

As you can see, these are not snappy lines that would sit squarely in a generic sympathy card. That’s because the more polished your words are, the less sincere they sound. Of course, you shouldn’t take that as permission to riff without preparation. 

The rest of this article will help you figure out how to come up with something original to say to someone who has lost their pet. The risks of improvising from your heart.

We speak quicker than we think. So, while it might sound like “speaking from the heart” is the best route to take when talking to someone who has lost a pet, it isn’t the best idea.

We don’t speak from the heart. We speak from the tongue while the heart stumbles forward, trying to catch up with it.

That’s how you end up saying, “Will you get a new one?” when we mean, “Will you be okay?” That’s how we end up saying, “You will get over it,” when we mean, “You are a fighter. I believe in you.”

Writing down what you are going to say allows you to think it through. And while you’re thinking things through, you have to avoid cliches.

Avoid Cliches

Cliches like “thoughts and prayers,” “I’m sorry for your loss,” and “I’m here for you” are, unfortunately, the best things to say but are rendered meaningless because of how often they are repeated. But don’t throw the baby with the bathwater. 

Edit those statements with some thought, and you’ll communicate the sentiment without looking like you’re parroting it off chatGPT. Look at the following statement, which I also mentioned earlier:

“You are in my thoughts, and [pet’s name] is in my prayers. I am sorry for your loss.”

It includes “thoughts” and “prayers,” but it is not a cliche as it has been edited thoughtfully. Remember to channel your thoughts toward the right thing while you edit a pre-written message.

Give a Heartfelt Gift if Words are Too Difficult

Sometimes, finding the right words for someone grieving a pet can feel overwhelming. When words fall short, a heartfelt gift can communicate your compassion and understanding more powerfully than spoken sentiments.

Gifting a personalized 3D crystal from Teddy & Finn can be a meaningful way to honor their beloved pet and offer comfort.

Our 3D crystals capture a cherished photo of the pet in stunning, lifelike detail. Each crystal is meticulously crafted to preserve the unique essence of their furry friend, making it a beautiful keepsake they can hold onto forever.

This crystal isn’t just a gift; it’s a lasting tribute that celebrates the special bond they shared. For someone in mourning, a 3D crystal can help provide a sense of closeness to their pet even after they’ve gone. You can check out our pet selection below.

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Step Into Their Shoes

Don’t think more about the words than you do about the person who will hear them. This isn’t a competition to say the most poetic or profound thing.

You just need to empathize with your friend who has lost their pet. Hearing the best selection of words won’t relieve them. But knowing that someone understands them will.

Don’t Try To Solve Their Pain

And while you are at it, put no thought into “fixing” their situation. Humans are natural problem solvers, which is a good thing in most cases, but it also motivates us to give unsolicited advice. Advice that people do not appreciate when they have recently lost a pet.

What they need is your empathy and understanding. Do not focus on solutions because grief isn’t something to be solved. Another thing to remember is that grief isn’t a flash in the pan. Check out this post for more insight: Exploring Why Losing a Pet is so Painful.

It’s Not A One-And-Done Task

Offering your condolences isn’t a one-click checkbox. Depending on how close you are to the person, you need to check on them multiple times.

Initially, just talking to them every two to three days can help them feel less alone. You do not need to bring up their loss every time. Eventually, you can start checking up on them once a week or once every other week.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

And by actions, I mean a care package. Make them a care package stuffed with things you know they’ll like. But if you get a premade package, make sure to send it with a handwritten note.

Make Them Feel Heard

Physical gifts have their place, but no gift replaces the human need to be heard. We focus so much on what we have to say when what’s more important is what people say to us. So, no matter what you say, make sure to stop after you have said it and let them speak.

Ask them to talk. Let them know that they have your open ear. Help them ease their mental burden by letting them grieve. Many people feel like they have to move on or not bring down the mood. If you notice that, let them know they can grieve for as long as they need.

Read (The Room) Before You Write

Not everyone copes with loss the same way. So, while this guide can help you figure out what to say, your observation and understanding will need to do some heavy lifting.

Really try to put yourself in their shoes. What would they want you to say? Bonus question: what would you want someone to say to you in that position?

Know How To Recover

Finally, you need to know how to recover from a bad statement. If you blurt out something you want to take back, you should not stumble for words. So, memorize the following.

“Pardon my words. I’m just trying to let you know that I know you’re in pain and that I am here for you.”

Ultimately, that’s all people want to know when they have just lost a pet.

Final Thoughts

If someone has lost a pet, the last thing they want to hear is a solution, suggestion, or cliche.

Say something like, “You are in my thoughts, and [pet’s name] is in my prayers,” or “I’m so sorry that you are going through this,” to help them see that they are not alone and that you can understand their pain.

Related Reading

• How to Memorialize Your Pet
• Do Other Pets Know When a Pet Dies?
• Steps to Take When a Pet Passes Away at Home
• Memorial Photo Gifts to Honor Loved Ones