The Heartache of Pet Loss: Exploring Why It Hurts So Much

If you have recently lost a pet, you might be surprised by the depth of your grief. But the pain we feel upon losing our pets is natural. And this article will help you understand why.

The pain of losing one’s pet can be explained by the simple fact that the human brain does not separate pets from companions. Losing a pet is losing a companion.

There are other reasons that explain the different aspects of the pain that people experience after losing their pets. But ultimately, it comes down to the fact that our brains do not have a separate box for pets. 

The animals who keep us company end up becoming closer to us than many humans we know. That’s why it is important to deal with this loss properly. I have covered a few dos and don’ts that will hopefully help you take care of yourself as you deal with the loss of your pet.

Why Is Losing A Pet So Painful?

But first, let’s go over a few reasons why losing a pet can be more painful than losing a human. It has a lot to do with what makes pets special.

Animals’ Love Is Not Consciously Conditional

Animals love us unconditionally. This is especially true for dogs and cats who love us not because of a calculated angle but because of the bond they develop with us. Sure, we feed our pets, but they don’t have the cognitive capabilities to fake affection to get fed.

Humans can deceive us or have their own angles, which is why even marriages can feel conditional. However, the relationship you have with your pet is unique because it doesn’t come with terms and conditions of endearment.

Humans Have The Ability To Empathize With Other Species

So, the previous reason has more to do with how pets love us. But love is like NYC’s Fifth Avenue: a two-way street. And the way you love your pet is also special.

Humans have the ability to empathize with animals. So when you hang out with one long enough, you begin to feel their emotions. You can understand them more with time.

Then comes a time when, like most pet owners, you go from finding them cute to loving them more than you ever thought you were capable of loving anyone.

When you love your dog, you don’t love ‘a dog.’ You love that specific dog. The dog he has become because of their experiences, quirks, and everything else that makes them unique.

The Pain Can Take Us By Surprise

Because we assume that the loss of a pet is unlike the loss of a human companion, we are taken by surprise when we experience the former. In other words, we are not prepared for the pain we experience.

So, it makes sense to overthink and question the depth of our own grief. But, don’t worry, it is 100% natural for the loss of your pet to sting as much as it does. This is partly explained by the next reason.

Everything Reminds You Of Them

Pet owners feed their pets, take them on walks, and have other rituals like watching TV together. These rituals get upended when a pet dies. Suddenly there are empty spaces in your routine and they remind you of your pet.

Whenever it is feeding time, you remember them. When you go on a solo walk, you remember them. When you’re watching TV, and you extend your arm to pat them, you find empty space, and you remember them.

People can lose their best friends and not have that many reminders of their loss. Yet when they lose a pet, they keep facing multiple reminders almost immediately. Denial is the first stage of grief, and a pet’s loss leaves no room for it.

They Don’t Get To Say Goodbye Back

Another thing that makes the loss of a pet especially painful is the fact that animals don’t understand death the same way we do. They can’t grasp their own mortality, so they don’t get to say goodbye to us. 

If they understood death, they wouldn’t need words to say goodbye. But because they don’t get it, they treat their final day as just another day with you. In a way, that’s beautiful, but it can also leave us yearning for closure.

Others Do Not Understand The Depth Of Your Loss, Which Makes It Truly Unique

People who have never lost a pet–including some pet owners–don’t understand your pain. Psychologists agree that sharing our pain can lessen it. But since most people don’t understand your pain, you don’t feel comfortable sharing it. 

Even when people offer their condolences, you know that they cannot possibly understand how you feel. This creates a pocket of loneliness that intensifies your pain.

What Not To Do After Losing A Pet

If you have recently lost a pet, please do not expect yourself to move on quickly. Do not take on the pressure of others’ expectations. People who have never lost a pet don’t know how much pain you are in. They might expect you to move on within weeks. 

You don’t have to cater to their expectations. Give yourself the time you need to deal with the loss of your companion.

Also, avoid sharing your grief with people who don’t own pets. They might downplay your grief, which will only add to it. 

People who own pets but have not lost any can still imagine what you are going through. But people who have never had a pet can be completely clueless unless they are major empaths.

Finally, do not throw away your pet’s stuff in a reactionary fit. Some pet owners feel that urge, but they regret being rash and discarding reminders of their freshly departed companion. Hug your pet’s blanket. Hold her bowl. Again, you don’t have to force yourself to move on.

What To Do After Losing A Pet

Aside from relieving yourself of the pressure to move on, the best thing you can do to cope with the loss of your pet is to seek social support.

Join a support group and share your experience with people who have gone through a similar loss. And give yourself time. I know that the pain can be intense, but you have to let time heal wounds that only time can heal.

You can also invest in a pet memorial. We have a wide range of 3D Pet Crystals to preserve the memory of your cherished pet forever. Our 3D photo crystals are designed to immortalize your pet in stunning detail, creating a lasting keepsake.

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Final Thoughts

Losing a pet can be so painful because a pet is a companion and a family member. A pet is a loved one who doesn’t get to say goodbye because he doesn’t understand death. A pet is someone who leaves behind reminders in your routine. You remember him whenever it is feeding time and there is no one to feed. 

You remember him as you brace for him to jump on you, but there is no one to brace for. You remember him decades later when the routines have faded, and there are no reminders left.

Because love doesn’t need reminders. And you love your pet, even if they are not here anymore. At least they got to experience it while they were.

Related Reading

• How to Memorialize Your Pet
• The Heartache of Pet Loss: Why Does It Hurt So Much?
• Steps to Take When a Pet Passes Away at Home